Are all Narcissists Pathological Liars
Lying compulsively is not a disease or even an abnormality, which are the definitions of pathological in the dictionary. Lying is a habit of behaviour. If this habit has been advantageous in the past it will be repeated. After being repeated many times it will become the standard and default response. This is why it is attractive and charming people who become narcissistic. Other people are usually less successful with their lies as children and so never form the habit.
Habits can be changed; lying, unlike smoking, is not addictive and so to say that this behaviour can't change is the wrong conclusion. Even addictive habits can be broken.
That said it will usually take some real understanding to bring a person with NPD to a place of trust in their family to be able to drop the lies and see that other more honest behaviour is more rewarding. Accountability is the key, but failure to meet obligations should been dealt with justly. Threatening to abandon and isolate a person because they have never learned to be accountable for themselves is unjust. A child who has never been taught with patience to tell the truth will remain a liar until someone who this person looks up to and respects takes on this duty.
It is important that a person who lies habitually stops gaining advantage from their lies. If you think you are being lied to you can say “I think your lying” without getting upset and then continue on acting on your own estimation of events rather than the lie. If you are not sure, do your research and find out the truth for yourself. A private investigator may be in order.
Kim Cooper author of "Back from the Looking Glass" Living with the personality disorder that causes abuse.
